" Binta sighed. "If you've never loved, you can never know how much pain this separation causes. Whenever I think of love or comfort or devotion - and that is so often - all I can think of is Mezyana."I want to live with her when I leave here. To share all my moments with her. Especially those little moments: the ones which mean so little when experienced alone and so much more when I'm with the one I love. We'd have our own home. We'd sleep in the same bed. Kiss each other as we left for work in the morning. Sit arm in arm, watching the television, feeling the comfort of our embraces. Laugh over shared memories over a beer or a meal out. Be as inseparable as the best of heterosexual couples. These are such innocent desires. And they so utterly overwhelm me."Binta ran her hands through the long strands of her hair and gazed sadly at her naked lap. Ana smiled wanly. Her emotions were curiously unfocused. She was reassured by Binta's commitment to someone else. She'd never felt so. I was standing nest to one of those writing tables, the ones that are about belly button high, when it started, You know, that feeling of a powerful one that, while you are standing, starts down toward your feet and moves up your body in a wave? I put my arm on the table, gritted my teeth and tried to hold every muscle in my body rigid, from my toes to my jaws in an effort to keep my body still and my hips from jerking. I started to do that little gray out thing that happens with a really strong one and supported myself with my arm on the table and filled my latex C/B sheath with hot fluid!. I think a little moan escaped and I tried to hide it and any telltale movements of my body with a few coughs. I felt like the next couple of people in line took an hour to do their business and that everyone there knew what had just happened! When I got to the window I'm sure I must have looked a little funny yet or been a little pale or something. The lady that got my package didn't say.
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